I am often outnumbered, in fact, I am always outnumbered. I am the sole female living in a house full of boys. Not that this is anything new to me. I grew up with a brother, had all boy cousins and lived in a neighborhood full of boys. Ironically, girls are a foreign entity to me.

But being a Mom to boys is not always easy. My vision of motherhood is often challenged and is nothing like what I envisioned as a young girl. Being a Mom to boys has its own crazy unwritten rule book. Rule Number One: There are no rules. There isn’t much of a learning curve either. You leave the hospital with this bundle of boyhood and hit the ground running. Will you stumble? Yes. Fall flat on your face? Oh yeah. Love them unconditionally even though they drive you to the brink of insanity? Absolutely!

Here is what I have learned so far:

• The seat is never down. Never. Dreams of it ever being down again have long been flushed away.
• Body functions are funny. If it comes out of the body – it’s humorous. Most days it is downright hilarious. It’s even funnier when it is inappropriately timed or in a public forum.
• Duct tape becomes your best friend and a necessity. It can fix toys, accessorize swords and guarantees that your child’s diaper stays on through the night.
• Your vision of you house smelling sweet and welcoming is replaced by outdoor musk and stinky socks.
• This vision takes a cruel turn for the worse when your child enters tweendom and discovers Axe. *save me*
• Your purse becomes a safe haven for random Legos, action figures, gum wrappers, special rocks they had to keep, athletic cups and anything else they deem worthy of keeping but not important enough to carry themselves. This by the way applies to everything they own.
• You cute sassy purse turns into a huge canvas Mom bag.
• You will have an in-depth knowledge of Star Wars, bugs, football statistics and all the noises you can make with various body parts.
• You will learn that boys have invisible dirt magnets under their nails and no matter how often you wash and scrub them, they will be black again in minutes.
• Your husband, sensing the testosterone filled house, will embrace his inner 12 year old and teach and/or encourage many of the above mentioned behaviors.
• You will have bad days. Days when you will yell, say not nice things, things you regret. You will be tired, angry and frustrated. They will still love you.
• Your boys will see you at your worst and still think you are beautiful and when you put on a dress they will say, “WOW Momma, you look pretty!”
• It will be the best and most rewarding job you will ever have!

 

** I am participating in a blog campaign with One2One Network. I have not received any payment. All opinions, pieces of wisdom and parental transgressions are my own. **